Tag Archives: TV

TSA Invasion: Boobies Beware!

29 Nov

There has been such a hubbub about the new full body scanners in airports.  This insurgence of media coverage has caused me to spend quite some time thinking about what I would do if faced with the possibility of going through one of those vs. having a full body pat down.  I also think about how the images could possibly be used by the people running the machines, other than for the obvious reasons.  I think about it a lot while I’m driving and even more when I’m out shopping.  I often find myself wondering what the handsome man at the furniture store looks like without his clothes on, or how good the cashier at the clothing store REALLY looks in the buff.  I really should get a job with TSA so that I don’t have to wonder anymore.  These machines show EVERYTHING.

What you might as well wear next time you travel the friendly skies.

It’s really quite amazing!  I happened upon a website just this evening that shows an image of a woman in “The Machine” (insert lightening flashing and thunder clapping here).  The top image shows her face very much blurred out but the bottom image clearly shows her face.  The caption discusses the fact that the image the TSA “pervert”is  reviewing is not the same image that they show to you, and that it is not in the slightest anonymous.  Um, no.  I would imagine not.  These pictures clearly show *cough* junk and other schtuff.

Here’s my take on the whole TSA body scanner uproar:  At one time in my life, I was a hot, solid bodied thing but guess what?  I’m not anymore.  I’m a little round around the edges.  I’ve breastfed 2 kids and my boobs are not only enormous but also, well, to put this lightly, a little saggy.  I’ve got extra deposits of lard around my hips, thighs, and knees.  Hell, I think I have some extra Crisco in places I didn’t even know you could GET fat. (Ladies, you know what I’m talking about here.)  I’ve got an attractive face, but certainly nothing that could detract from the Romanesque picture that would show up on a TSA full-body scanner’s screen.  Ok so let’s just assume the guy (or gal for that matter), likes what they see on the screen?  (Hey, it’s possible, my hubby thinks I’m sumpthin’ else to look at.)  What are they really going to do with  my image?  Rub one off right there in the airport?  Let’s get real.  I am, however; under the impression from this article that the images can, in fact be saved.  Ok, so that is kinda weird but I’m not super concerned with my image being saved for a little fun after work.  You can get much better free porn on the internet.  I hardly believe these TSA workers are so underpaid that they can’t afford internet.

That brings me to the grope-downs that are now being offered in lieu of the full-body scan.  I love being touched.  It’s one of my favorite things.  I’m just not sure that what I want before walking onto my 6 hour flight to Seattle is to be felt up.  Perhaps on the flight but don’t get me all excited before I have to sit next to Mr. Stinkyman who invades 3″ of my total 12″ seat space, while munching on stale peanuts!  Have you seen a video of the pat-down they are now issuing?  It’s pretty darned invasive; nothing short of sticking a finger in various holes, I tell ya’.  While watching the video I thought, “Hm…I wonder what women with breasts like mine have to go through during this enhanced security measure?”  I really could hide a handgun underneath my boobs and they’d never find out.  Unless, of course, they physically lifted my boob up and felt up under there.  Do you think they’re doing that?  I’d love to see some bra-less old woman in a muumuu go through the new grope down.  I can just imagine her partially toothed smile as a burly TSA security-woman had to lift the traveler’s breasts with two hands and feel under that sweaty spot with her free foot.  You know, just in case there’s a nail file under there.

So what would I do?  I think I’d rather be the one having all the fun instead of someone sitting in a booth enjoying my curvaceous form in negative-image.  Yeah.  I’m in for the grope-down.  C’mon and love me down!  How about you?

Footnote:  I hope those of you reading this didn’t take it too seriously.  This was intended to be a satire, please and thank you.  I think the 4th Amendment rocks.  Ask Mr. Lenhart in Juneau-Alaska at JDHS (assuming he still teaches there).  I did a debate on a 4th Amendment illegal search and seizure in high school…and won.  So there.


Freak the Freak Out

27 Nov

By FAR my most popular post so far. Glad it is being enjoyed and that I’m not the only parent who thinks that this song is highly inappropriate for the age group this show is targeted to.
I don’t know about you, but my 9 yr old, innocent son enjoys watching TV from time to time a lot.  His favorite shows are “Phineas and Ferb”, “The Wizards of Waverly Place”, “iCarly”, “Sonny With A Chance”, and “Victorious” among a couple of others.  Aside from Demi Lovato’s recent entry into a rehab program, I have had no problems with the stars in the shows that he watches.  We haven’t talked at all about Demi Lovato or what she went into rehab for, I’m not sure he even knows that she’s there.  I’m just glad that she’s getting help for her reported eating disorder and cutting problems, and I hope that she returns to the scene soon.

But (and this is a big BUT for me), just this week I have come into unfamiliar parental territory.  The show, “Victorious” aired a one-hour special entitled “Freak the Freak Out” named after a song that the show’s star, Victoria Justice, recently released.   I’m not at ALL impressed.  The song talks about how the object of Victoria’s affections (correction provided by apparent co-writer of the song) Victoria’s PARENTS don’t listen to her and she’s sick and tired of it.  Lyrics (from second stanza) are as follows:

I’m so sick of it,
Your attention never stick
Never listen, You never listen.
I’m so sick of it,
So I’m throwing on a fit
Never listen, You never listen.
I scream, your name,
It always stays the same.
I scream, and shout,
So what I’m gonna do now
Is freak the freak out, Hey!

I could be wrong but I believe that the target audience for this show is somewhere between 8 and 12, and my son listens to the music sung by stars of various Disney & Nickelodeon shows on his MP3 player.  It is my professional parental opinion that this song is exceedingly inappropriate for this target age.  Freak the freak out?  At your PARENTS?  Really, Nickelodeon?  You  might as well have just said “Freak the F#ck Out”.  This is NOT a phrase I’d like for my 9 yr old to be repeating at school OR at home.  Argue with me on the target age if you want to, but I guarantee you not many high schoolers are watching this show (I wouldn’t have).

I realize that I am his parent and I have the authority to tell him whether or not he can watch a show or listen to certain music but I don’t feel like I should have to be music police for a 9 yr old while he is watching a network that I trust to deliver age appropriate content.  What is appropriate for this age?  I think I should be able to trust Nickelodeon and Disney to deliver (relatively) wholesome and fun music for my kids to listen to.  I’m OK with songs about love, feelings, and growing up, but directing these sorts of emotions (and phrases) in a song for elementary and middle schoolers is just out of line.  Growing up can be really difficult to do and I know that teenage angst seems to come younger and younger as the decades crawl onward.  It’s difficult for these “big kids” or “young adults” to communicate appropriately as it is, why are we teaching them to “freak the freak out” or “scream and shout” to get someone’s attention?  Are they going to be able to differentiate between peer relationships and parental relationships and what’s appropriate in each?  I don’t think that it’s appropriate or necessary to “scream and shout” in ANY relationship, but this song is clearly supporting doing just that if someone isn’t listening to you.  I don’t know what I expect, songs about respect?  I mean why not?  Sing it, Aretha!  This “Freak the Freak Out” song is super catchy so it’s hard not to nod your head a little and remember the lyrics upon listening to it only a few times.  So now I have a 9 yr old walking around talking about “freaking the freak out” and I really don’t know how to handle it.

What do I do?  Tell him to turn the TV off every time the song comes on?  Forbid him from watching “Victorious” or even worse, Nickelodeon?  Am I being too overprotective?  How many of you parents out there think that the phrase, “Freak the freak out” is inappropriate for a 9 yr old to be saying, or even exposed to for that matter?

If you’d like to check the song out, please listen.  And after you’ve listened, I’d love some input and friendly debate.  What do you think?  Do you think this is appropriate for your children?  For your future children (if you don’t have any)?  All witty quips welcome.

%d bloggers like this: