Tag Archives: Murphy’s Law

mURPHY’S lAW mONDAY

16 May

Things happen in my life on a near-daily basis that prove Murphy’s Law as truth. Each Monday is dedicated to showcasing my life’s crazy moments.

I don’t get to shower every day.  There.  I said it.  I try to shower every day but it’s not always feasible.  The shower is PRIME real estate in my house.  It seems as though every time I get a few minutes to wet myself down and run a bar of soap over my skin, Grady is immediately in need of a marathon feeding session.  I never deny him milk so I usually sit down with him, clean and flowery smelling, and nurse him until his stomach is completely full.  Maybe even over-full.  Because as luck would have it, (or as Murphy’s Law would have it) his stomach runneth over.  EVERY time I get out of the shower and feed him, he pukes all over me.  In my clean (dried and straightened) hair, all over my clean and lotioned body, all over my brand new clean clothes.   This past week, he puked all over me then proceeded to fill his diaper to the point of explosion so that I was not only covered in vomit, but bright orange buttered-popcorn smelling poop.  Awesome.

I’ve come to the conclusion that Grady prefers me dirty.

If it can happen, it will happen.

mURPHY’S lAW mONDAY

9 May

Things happen in my life on a near-daily basis that prove Murphy’s Law as truth. Each Monday is dedicated to showcasing my life’s crazy moments.

If it can happen, it will happen.

Yesterday was Mother’s Day.  OH, glorious Mother’s Day.  A day that looks like any other in my house.  My kids were great and after writing the tear-jerking post about their presents to me, I turned on one of my favorite movies (Title to remain nameless so as to avoid any and all teasing comments).  About 45 minutes into “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days” (whoops), Styles began really pestering me to go to the pool.  It sounded fabulously refreshing but I knew that juggling my overactive 20 month old and my newborn just wasn’t going to make for a refreshing or relaxing anything.  I did the non-committal “maybe later” thing and continued drooling over Matthew Mcconaughey and his pre-pot smoking, nude on the beach, drum banging hotness.  About the time a small pool of saliva collected in my lap, my friend texted (thank God for technology) to tell me that she was at the pool.  A moment of insanity led me to believe that with an extra set of hands, we’d have  a great time splashing around in the water.  I lathered the kids up, minus baby, with SPF 30 and off we went.

Madilyn wasn’t interested in the water at first and I had no trouble wooing her to stay near me with cheeze ballz.  As time wore on, she grew more and more enthralled by the sparkling goodness of the pool so I commissioned my dear friend, Pat to hold Grady so I could take a dip in the pool with Madilyn.  She.  Was.  In.  HEAVEN.  Our community pool has what they call a “Kiddie Area” with a mushroom-shaped fountain and very shallow water.  What it doesn’t have is any sort of barrier to keep kids from falling into 4ft. deep water.  Needless to say, I was a bit of a wreck while Madilyn walked around the so-called kiddie area.  After about 5 minutes I realized that she was perfectly content to stay close to the wall and not venture towards the abyss.  Another friend of mine showed up and Pat left, leaving me with Grady, Madilyn, and Styles.

By this time, Madilyn had proven herself worthy of a longer leash so I felt perfectly comfortable whipping one out and nursing Grady on the edge of the pool.  No sooner had I done that, Madilyn high-tailed it to the edge of the kiddie area and fell off into the pool.  I nearly threw Grady onto the concrete, just before friend #2 dove into the pool (beer in hand), to rescue her.  When Madilyn surfaced, all she had to say for herself was “whoops” before attempting to kamikaze off the edge again and again.

Lesson learned:  When your overactive toddler makes you comfortable enough to extend a little bit more responsibility, shorten the leash, tighten your grip, lock-in your sights.  Because it is then that they will test Murphy’s Law.

If it can happen, it will happen.

mURPHY’S lAW mONDAY – VDay Edition

14 Feb

Things happen in my life on a near-daily basis that prove Murphy’s Law as truth. Each Monday is now dedicated to showcasing my life’s crazy moments.

If it can happen, it will happen.

OK, so this may or may not be personal experience.  And it may or may not have happened within the last month.  So let’s just say that this is hypothetical.  And if you’re a parent with children who still live in your house and can walk, you need to read this.

ALLright….  So there was this one dark night where the pheromones were apparently stirring.  Mom and Dad were feeling rather saucy and decided to conserve water by taking a shower together.  It was one of those late nights.  The kids were snuggled all soundly in their beds while visions of good grades and Mum-Mums danced in their heads.  All was quiet in the house, and not a creature was stirring, except maybe Daddy’s mouse.

Mommy and Daddy decided to take it to the room and in the heat of the dark, dark night forgot to lock the door.  The door is always locked during feisty time in Mommy and Daddy’s bedroom but tonight it was forgotten.  Mommy paused for a moment in realization that the door was ajar but Daddy insisted that because the children had been in bed for so very long, that they would likely never wake up.  As the temperature rose in the room, there was suddenly a cough at the door.

Perhaps the child saw a rear in the air, or maybe a bare chest, and he most certainly heard a little too much.  All that can be sure is that the child looked like a deer frozen in the headlights.  Poor kid got an eyeful and an earful when all he wanted was a glass of water.

If it can happen, it will happen.

mURPHY’S lAW mONDAY

7 Feb

Things happen in my life on a near-daily basis that prove Murphy’s Law as truth. Each Monday is now dedicated to showcasing my life’s crazy moments.

If it can happen, it will happen.

I was preparing to jump in the shower when I realized that I needed to switch the laundry over from the washing machine to the dryer. My sweet son Styles was outside playing with his two friends from across the street and Madilyn was busying herself with my hair dryer (unplugged, of course). Being that I am extremely forgetful these days, I decided to go ahead and take care of the laundry before jumping in the shower. Because Styles was outside, I figured it was safe for me to take care of the laundry in the buff. As I was moving clothing from the dryer to the sofa, I laughed to myself about how funny it would be if 3 little boys suddenly burst through the front door to find me doing laundry while nude.

I wish that thought had never entered my mind.

While toting the last armful of laundry through the living room, 3 little boys suddenly burst through the front door to find me doing laundry in the nude. True Story.

if it can happen, it will happen.

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